Do Not Be Afraid I Am With You

Not to much explanation today on exactly why I'm thankful for this song, it's one of those either you know the story or you dont. And if you want to know the story you can ask me yourself. But today I am thankful for a specific moment in my life and this song is a huge part of that moment so hope you enjoy.

You ever have that moment where you finally give up trying to fix everything in your life by yourself and realize you can't do it alone? And not like, asking someone else for help but rather accepting that you have to let God do his thing and just trust him? Even though letting go is good for you and it's really good when you realize that sometimes there's nothing more you can do, however, it is also very scary to let go because you don't know what's going to happen. In the back of your head you feel things are always gonna be bad and maybe even get worse. It's one of those "I have no idea where to go from here" type of moments, it's also the moment where you usually feel the most alone.

It's funny though in my expereince both personally and also through watching other people I've learned that when you're at your rock bottom moments and you feel SOOO far away from God and everything else.....ironicaly those are the moments you are closest to Him. I think this is because at these moments we accept that we have no control sometimes, and we accept that we need something else, something beyond what we can attain for ourselves. Something like faith. I feel many people miss the opportunity to feel God because they get caught up in the frustration but when you are at these moments try praying, and you'd be surprised I think. At these moments it's nice to hear things like "Do not be afraid, I am with you" or "I love you"....This song is one of the very few if not only songs that I have heard, that is from the perspective of God. It sounds like God himself is talking to you in the song. I heard this song for the first time while I was in one of these moments and I believe that was more than a coincidence. I hope while reading the lyrics to the song you take it as a prayer, just make sure you're in a silent place and truly think about what the song is saying and maybe or hopefully I should say it can help you where ever you're at in life right now.

I will come to you in the silence
I will lift you from all your fear
You will hear My voice
I claim you as My choice
Be still, and know I am near

I am hope for all who are hopeless
I am eyes for all who long to see
In the shadows of the night,
I will be your light
Come and rest in Me

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am strength for all the despairing
Healing for the ones who dwell in shame
All the blind will see, the lame will all run free
And all will know My name

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am the Word that leads all to freedom
I am the peace the world cannot give
I will call your name, embracing all your pain
Stand up, now, walk, and live

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

CHALLENGE: There are many pleasures in life that promise happiness, but all of those usually have an expiration date. And when those limited pleasures are gone we are left right at the beginning feeling like we need something more to be happy. This song reminds me that God is always there and that in the end if God is not in my life then nothing will ever quench my desire to be happy. Not to say that other things cant make us happy however I feel when Im good on my faith, I realize way more reasons to be happy and it's a better kind of happy than when Im not good with my faith if that makes sense? Basically God is the only one who can do all the things that the song says...and at those moments where we feel alone and confused and scared....just remember to not be afraid, cause he's always there.  

My Peer Leaders

So a big theme this year before the actual retreat happened was focusing on who the "lights" in your life were. And honestly before any retreat I always start to think about my retreat as a student and why it was I came back and who was there and just think back on the good times I guess haha infact about 3 weeks before the retreat I always start playing my 2nd year retreat CD just to get me in the right mood lol

I am thankful for the group of peer leaders I had when I was a confirmation student. At the time obviously I didn't know all the work they had to do and all the preperation but every year I come back to help I am reminded of how much they had to do for my retreat. It really is impossible for me to get through a retreat with out thinking about my own retreat and all the peer leaders that were there for me back then. Most of them are no longer working retreats but that doesnt mean they are not in my life anymore. I pretty much talk to all of them still maybe a few out of the entire team back then that I don't somehow still have contact with.

See everyyear there is a new group of people that come back to be peer leaders and they are always great and every year it feels I find a new reason to stay and help and I always meet people that give my faith a boost and just keep me on track but it all began with my peer leaders back in the day hahha they took the time out of their lives to come back and share with us and they were just the coolest kids ever in my opinion at the time lol so I really want to take the time to appreciate them and aknowledge them and all they did no matter where they are now. I can confidently say 5 years later that I will NEVER forget anything about my second year retreat and all the amazing people that helped with it.

Even though we're not allowed back because they think we might have stolen something (long story ask if you really wanna know lol) Julian will always be one of my top favorite places in the world! That's where we had my retreat by the way ahhah it was such a great place! There was a "talk room" then right next to it was a "Music" room an entire room just to do the music stuff, then not to far away was a rec room that had a pool table and a foosball table AND a ping pong table I believe and that was the "arts and crafts" room, then of course a kitchen and again not to far down they had a football field where we played soccer on free time hahaha It honestly was a great place that someday I want to go back and visit.

One of the greatest things about my peer leaders....is that they're still my peer leaders hahahah well we all grew up and we're not 16,17, or 18 anymore now we're all 21, 23, or 24 now but some of them are still active in church and so I see them all the time, or again I just still keep in contact with them. I still look up to them and ok I'll admit it....I still think they are some of the coolest people on the planet! hahaha I know they will always be there for me cause over the years they have been there for me when stuff has happened. They still are some of the first people I go to if I need someone to talk too and if you ask me they are still some of the BEST role models a person could ask for. I trully am lucky and I truly feel blessed to have had those people as peer leaders, and as friends. I'm happy they still are important in my life and I have a feeling no matter where life takes us they will ALWAYS be my peer leaders and I will always love them and I think I can confidently say they will always love me too.

(So there was A LOT more peer leaders that this blog is talking about but this is the only picture I had on hand from my retreat sorry ahha...these were the group leaders on my retreat but yes A LOT of people are missing from the entire team again sorry but I thought this was a nice picture anyways haha)

CHALLENGE: I have a lot of blogs about friends and how you should take the time to appreciate them so I'm hoping you get the message pretty clearly now. People come and go in your life and that is NOT a bad thing and people who may not be in your life anymore that doesnt make them bad people or bad friends. However, there is something to be said about the people who have been in your life for a long time, who no matter what happened always kept in touch somehow. Just as always with everyone who is important to you...remember to show them you care and that you're thankful for them every now and then haha

Sick Again

Ok so I know I have been failing big time this past week with this blog I'm sorry, the day I got back from retreat I got really sick and just havn't really remembered to post something, but I'm on orders to not get out of bed today so I will be posting probably a few today to try to make up for the ones I have missed.

So right off the bat I want to start today with a similar one that I have posted before about being sick. If you read the other one than yes this might seem redundant so you can stop reading if you'd like haha. If you have not read the other one about being sick then let me explain why I am thankful for it. Now I don't think saying I'm thankful for being sick is the right way to put it because I don't like bieng sick at all!! However I cant lie, it is nice to have people take care of you :)

And again just like in the other post, when I say everyone I mean EVERYONE! For example today my mom actually told me to stay in bed all day and rest not to even try to do anything around the house. She told me to call work and tell them I cant go and yesterday she told me not to go to school.....now maybe for some of you this sounds normal of a parent when a child is sick but the thing is that has NEVER happened before here lol. Normally they dont believe that I am as sick as I say I am and they get mad if I have to skip school cause im "sick". You know the "suck it up" type of thing hahahha but this time they are actually being very nice about it hahahha

Even my dad seems to have more patience with me cause when i get sick I swear I know more about medicine that he does even though he's the doctor hahahha. Well not really only when it comes to allergy medicine he tries to give me. I dont know what it is about allergy medicine but I do not like taking it, I'll take anything else he gives me but the second he says take this allergy pill Im like "woah why??!!?" it's weird hahah but he just goes along with me lol

CHALLENGE: The real challenge is to no get sick this season cause honestly it feels like everyone is sick so all I can say is I hope you dont get sick and if you already are sick then I hope you get better soon!

It's the little things

Today what I'm thankful for reminds me that, the things you are thankful for don't have to be big things, or even deep emotional things. Sometimes the things that make you the happiest person are the smaller thinsg in life and sometimes they are so small that unfortunatley we over look them and forget to realy look back and thank God for that moment.

Tonight I went to a friends soccer game. It was sooooo cold and I was already a little sick to begin with so honeslty I think it just made me worse! However, it was a lot of fun with friends and his family watching him play. Even though we were cold, we still made the best of the situation and well we won, or he won cuz we werent playing but you know what I mean. If I could write down all the funny thinsg that were said I would but it really as as simple as, I had a great time and laughed a lot.

That's what I'm thankful for, sweet and simple, no life lesson, just a small part of my day that made me smile and laugh. And lets be honest no matter how small the moment may be if it made you smile and laugh then that's enough to be thankful for it. It's the little things in life that make us the happiest and yet it's the little things that we over look all the time.

CHALLENGE: It's funny when I sit here to write my blog, I usually look back and reflect on my day to see what stands out as something I want to write about. Thing is, no matter how many things get me upset or annoy me or make me sad during the day, because of this blog when I sit down at the end of the day to think I force myself to focus on the good because well I have to for the blog hahah. And no matter how my day was, when I sit here and think of all the good things that happened and made me happy, I kind of completely forget about all the things that might have made me "not happy". I don't know if I'm explaining myself the rigth way but basically before you go to bed at night try to look back on your day to all the good things that happened and only focus on those, you'd be surprised how you start to realize that life is good, and appreciate the little things.

YAG!! :D

Today I have a special shout out to my yaggers....some of you have NO IDEA who I'm talking bout. So I'll explain for ya! At my church we have the Youth Group, which is for kids in high school to hang out and have fun with some spiritual growth obviously. But a few years ago one of the confirmation teachers, Toni, decided that those kids who were out of high school but still really involved at church needed there own space. Youth Group is a great program but it tailers to high school kids with mostly high school problems. So she knew the young adults needed a program that was more "grown up" in the issues they talked about and addressed more adult problems or the same problem just in a more mature way. So she started the Young Adult Group hence..YAG lol creative I know hahah so might as well give you the rest of the history, after running it for a little over a year Toni stepped down and Theresa took over as person in charge of running YAG and person who organizes the young adults for events and such. Well a few weeks ago Theresa announced that she is going back to school and will not be free to attend YAG anymore and even though we are all very sad cause it really wont be the same with out her, we are all also very proud of her and wish her all the best. Plus we will still see her at church so she really isnt "leaving" hahaha

So now that Theresa has also stepped down she left YAG to two young woman. Trisha and myself will be teaming up to run YAG and hopefully we can do half of the amazing job that Toni and Theresa have done in the past :)

But I would like to take this moment to say how thankful I am to this young adult group, at the beginning I was extremely reluctant to join especially since there was a few people who I did not know and at the time I was the youngest member for about 2 years. But quickly I came to love it. It honeslty has helped me a lot in understanding things in a differnt way and I can honeslty say I have never really read and talked about and tried to understand the bible before YAG. To some it may seem like, ANOTHER THING FOR CHURCH??!! but for me it's more of a midweek time with God, cause even though idealy we should make time for him each day but life can get hectic and I love my midweek OLG visits hahah.

Plus the people there I must say are pretty dang awesome!! I am no longer the youngest won! lol and I know I can go to them whenever I need them and it's not just a group i go to, it's another family and you can never have to much family in your life haha

So I am thankful for YAG and how it helps me, I am thankful that Toni realized the young adults needed a place to go, I am thankful for all Theresa has done to help the program grow stronger, and I am terrified at "taking over" hahahah but at the same time thankful and humbled that Theresa and the other "yaggers" trust Trisha and myself with such a responsibility.

This is way back in the old school days of YAG when we would meet at Theresa's house lol ok so not THAT long ago but still!! lol love this people! <3

CHALLENGE: I mentioned it real quickly in this blog, but it is really important. Do you give God a good amount of you life, year, month, week, day even?? If yes, then good for you, if you're like me and can honeslty admit that no you dont then thats my challenge not just for this blog but for this lent. Yag helped me with having one hour in the middle of the week to think about God and pray and at the same time a mid week hangout with some of my best friends every week (you know our motto lol) So find a way to give God a few hours a week, just to say thank you, and honeslty to give yourself that one hour of peace away from the rest of your life to just think, it honeslty can not hurt but only help. :) 

Today My Life Begins

Oh boy...so this past weekend was the 2nd year confirmation retreat which is why I did not post anything, and then yesterday I was just way to tired to post a blog for it sorry haha.

I can not even start to explain how thankful I am for this past weekend, again it's one of those things that I can try to explain but you will never fully understand the feeling unless you see for yourself. All I can say is that this is one of the most amazing retreats ever! I mean I've gone on so many retreats you almost feel like you've seen it all, but then you see a group of  big tough guys that have been fighting us all year in confirmation classes, actually start to pray over each other and cry and hug each other and you just realize God will never stop amazing you. Every retreat has it's specialness to it but I really feel like this retreat was extra special for some reason.

Out of respect for the students and even peer leaders who I saw experience many things this weekend, I cant go into detail but I really did see miracles happen this weekend. It's always amazing to see the difference in people from the moment they step off the bus to getting back on the bus two days later as completely different people. Like the one thing I can say because it really does make me feel very happy and proud for what I do as a junior minister. When everyone became friends on facebook after the retreat you know I went on a few of the students pages and it's just hard to exlpain what it feels like to see that the day before retreat there post are so negative and cursing the world for everything and some even talking smack on the retreat they havnt been on...and then sunday night there post are 200% changed! Now they seem so much happier and excited for life, like they have a new found hope....I love it!

These kids give a whole new meaning to the idea of never giving up on a person hahah if any of you are reading this, you know I love you all but you honeslty are a stubborn group lol you all were soo sure you were gonna hate the retreat and it was hard to stay strong when most of you showed not only no interest but at times, some of you pushed us away HARD and with attitude. But again our faith and our hope of what you would hopefully understand is what kept us strong and we never gave up on you guys and we never will!

I'm so happy beyond words that the students really got something amazing out of this retreat. All the hard work and exhaustion and all nighters...they all dont matter in the end when all the students talk about how they had a great experience. To see them so thankful and happy, makes everything so worth it!!

I could literally go on FOREVER!! about how much this retreat ment to me and all the things I was thankful for but I'll save the little thankful stories for other posts haha....I have a feeling the next week or so of posts are going to somehow be about the retreat cause there is just way to much to be thankful for about it to shove it into one post so I'll spread it out more haha.

CHALLENGE: This is more for the people who went on retreat....Never lose what you found this weekend. Hold on to that feeling of hope and faith and love. Unfortunatley retreats cant last forever, and we have to go home and we don't know what exactly everyone has to go home too. Help each other stay strong, and remember you can always start again and God will always be there for you.

Technology

So you know it's true what they say...you don't really appreciate something till it's gone. Now I'm sure someday I will learn this lesson in a deeper way (plus I have already learned this lesson the hard way), but I'm not gonna lie today I was reminded of this lesson in a very superficial way. So early this morning my phone decided to just not work anymore....it would tell me if I had a new text, and if someone called it would let me know, however, I could not answer the call, could not see the text, could not respond to it, and could not make any text. Basically, it was mocking me with the fact that people were trying to reach me and there was nothing I could do about it hahahah

It's kind of a two part thankful post, because 1- I still don't have a phone that works at the moment, but I do know I appreciate my phone when I do have it. Again I know this seems very materialistic of me but it's true, I love talking and texting with my friends during the day and it keeps me entertained. Im not obsessed with technology but I do see its beauty lol.

The second part is that I'm thankful that I can use my ipod as a phone if I choose too. Yes there were a few people who I simply wanted to talk to, but considering the retreat is a day away, there are a lot of people I need to be in contact with texting and calling through out the day to make sure everything is being taken care of and finishing last minute things you know? So im thankful I had a back-up even if it was limited because I had no contacts but I found a way to get a few of them that I needed haha. Plus my mom was worried when I wouldnt answer my phone so when I finally remembered my ipod was also a phone she was thankful to hear that I was ok and nothing was wrong hahah

CHALLENGE: I've said this before but it doesnt hurt to remind you. Don't take things like your phone, or car, or laptop for granted. Yes we live in a society where it is normal for people to have these things everywhere, but that doesnt mean we should act as if they are non important. Think about how much you use these things and im not saying it in a bad way Im just pointing out that technology and our ability to have this technology in our lives is something we should be thankful for. And we should take care of our things and not be spoiled and throw these things around knowing we can "just get another one".....cause maybe you wont be able to. Basically and hopefully on a "deeper" level hahah be thankful for how blessed you are for all that you have and remember that these luxuries like cars (no matter how old) and cell phones (even if it's not the "coolest") are infact luxuries and not everyone necessarily has them.

My Job and Lent

Today I am thankful for my job haha...yes I know what you're all thinking because EVERYONE has the same reaction.. "YOU WORK??!!??"...

Yes I work part time at this after school thing for elementary kids. I help them with homework do some tutoring and then watch them till their parents pick them up basically a day care. But I am thankful that is where I work becuase these are some of the funniest and sweetest kids ever! They draw pictures for me, when we walk to the park they pick flowers for me and they are honestly great kids. Of course every now and then me or one of the other girls has to "deal" with one or two if they get out of hand or need to be talked to but even then they are still a great kids. And im not gonna lie at first it was weird but now I kinda like being called "Miss Daniela" hahahha even though they are getting to the point where they feel comfortabe enough to just call me Daniela but still...it's all good haha

CHALLENGE: So today's challenge has nothing to do with my story haha. Tomorrow lent starts and I just wanted to say a few things to those of you who like me take it seriously and give something up. First of all, you dont always have to give something up for lent you could also do something for it. As in everyday do a good deed, or go to church every sunday or whatever. Every year I hear what people give up and sometimes I feel like people don't really get the purpose of lent. The purpose is not to help you lose weight. Jesus didn't die on the cross so you could get a 40 day miracle diet and give up a bunch of food. hahah (sorry if that was mean) ha but it's true. I dont care what you give up, but in my personal opinion you should be giving up something that will honestly help better your life in some way nad even though eating better falls under that category the key is that it should also help bring you closer to God and your faith. To me lent is all about our faith and what can we do to make it stronger. What can I give up to help me focus more on my relationship with God. Sure there are a few things im giving up more as a challenge and just for fun, one of then being sarcasm haha but there are also other thinsg im doing this lent to truly help me be a better person in all parts of life uncluding and most important in my faith. So if you're doing lent I challenge you to really think of what maybe be getting in the way of your faith and what can you do or give up this lent to truly work on your faith.

Music Doesn't Get "Old"

Alright so todays post is very light hearted. Well, light hearted however, still very important to me. Today I have to say I am thankful when a friend, or anyone really, introduces me to a different type of music, or a new artist or just something I'd never heard before. 

It's very rare that we as humans get to truly experince new things, that's why whenever we do it's such a great feeling because it's not something that happens often, we get stuck in a routine or we become afraid to get out of our comfort zones. Also let's face it we can all be jaded at time and not appreciate amazing things simply because we see them all the time. So when someone shows me a new song....I absolutely love it, especially if it's a great song too haha. Even though I have heard music all my life and I have heard amazing music before (in my opinion) whenever I hear a new song that I love, it really is a great new experience I get to enjoy. That's one of the great things about music, sure you've heard a guitar before, and you've heard people sing before but every song is different in it's own way and can be experienced for the first time by many people.

But yeah, today I am very thankful and I love it when people introduce me to new music and new artists and the great thing about me (cuz that didnt sound conceded lol) is that I genuinely love all kinds of music INCLUDING country! lol I listen and appreciate ANY type of music if I like the song I like it and I really don't care who sings it. It's not about genre or artist to me...its simply about the song and if i like it and if it calls to me haha. If you look at my ipod you would be so confused and you could not even begin to guess what kind of person owns it cause it has random combination of music but again I love it...always something new to hear.

So if you have a favorite song, artist, or style of music no matter what it is and no matter how many people you know hate it...let me know I really do love hearing new music (and new doesnt mean brand new, if I havnt heard before it's new to me lol)

CHALLENGE: I think todays post is a good example if "it's the little things that count". Hearing a brand new song or experiencing an artist I have never heard before is relatively a small thing, but it makes me really happy to experience new music. It makes me happy and I love it. So remember to appreciate the little things that make you happy. And also, try something new, experiencing new things really is fun and you never know what you might find :]

Key to Forgiveness

Yes I missed yesterday, but I've come up with this thought. Whenever I miss, just know that I had a good reason and that I will make up for it the next day. I say this also because this weekend will be another weekend that I will not be posting because I will be away. As far as yesterday goes I had a good reason see I was at church all day at this working retreat getting all the things ready for the actual retreat this weekend and by the time I got home it was like 11:52 and what I was thankful for, especially yesterday, was way to important to me to just throw it together in 8 minutes.

So today and yesterday's blog is about how Im thankful for friendship. Now I have a lot of friends, and they are all kinds of friends. The girls I work with are my friends but well I only see them at work hahha but they still my friends. Friends from school, friends from old schools like high school or elementary who I still keep in touch with. Friends who I hang out and have fun with, and ok I dont know if this is just me, but every now and then I meet someone who I guess is just exactly like me (as far as sarcasm and making everything funny) and so literally not a single word that we say to each other is serious at all! From the second we see each other till we leave and on fb or txt....ALWAYS messin and bein mean to each other. I dont think I would consider these people "friends" cuz we never have friend moments but I just think it's funny when I mhave people like that in my life hahhaha

But last night I was reminded of one of the BEST type of friends I have....the kind of friends that you can cry with.....And what means more to me, the kind of friends that you can cry with and then within minutes be back to laughing and messing with each other and acting like "no we didnt just have a moment and cry and remind each other how much we love each other" lol....but forever and always those moments even if you don't talk about them specifically again, will always be in your heart and you'll always know who you can really count on when you need someone to talk to, or someone to hold you, or someone to pray for/with you.

The second thing I'm thankful for, is still talking about friends but this time it's more specific to what my friends tell me. Im thankful to have friends who love me and truly want to help me when I need help. Im thankful that yesterday one of my friends reminded me that the most important part in moving on with your life after you have made a mistake, is to forgive yourself for it. Of course you should be sorry and apologize, but after you've apologized and even after the person has forgiven you , we still sometimes beat ourselves up for what we did. I'm thankful I was reminded of this, because we all have those things on our conscious that always seem to bug us but we need to let them go and accept that we did wrong but that we are sorry and let ourselves move on from our own mistakes.

CHALLENGE: We all have things in our past and in our lives that we may not be particularly proud of, and Im talking about things we have done or caused. Or situations that we can't really let go of. Im not gonna tell you to let it go cause I know it's not that easy. But I will challenge you to try to let it go, and realize that the past is over and you cant go back to it anymore. You can only try your hardest to make right now the best and to make decisions to be a good person right now. One of the things I learned yesterday was that if we have faith God will always forgive us and all we can do is truly want to change for the better, but usually we are the ones that can not forgive ourselves. We need to forgive ourselves sometimes and allow ourselves to move on and be better people. Start over again.

Every Year

....Tomorrow I have to wake up at 5:30 am to go to my church hall to help make breakfast for about 30 or so peer leaders. I have to be there from 7am till 10pm making posters, directing skits and a bunch of work that needs to be done before the retreat next week. I'm sure it's gonna be a roller coaster of emotions and tempers at times hahah, we're gonna realize something isnt working and people might get a little stressed, and I will be BEYOND tired by the time I get home.....I am actually thankful for all of this lol

Every year a week before the retreat we have this working retreat which is exactly what I just explained. It's mentally and physically draining but honestly it also is a lot of fun...in it's own way I guess hahaha. The past 3 weeks we've been having meetings once a week and yes a lot of things have been getting done but to be completely honest it's been more planning and figuring out what needs to be done, however tomorrow will be actually doing what needs to be done. To me the meetings are fun and way to get use to working with each other and to build that trust and friendship but tomorrow I actualy feel productive and accomplished hahaha

All I know is that every year I hear people, INCLUDING MYSELF, complain about how they dont wanna wake up so early and be there ALL DAY making posters, practicing skits over and over and over again, and how tired they are during the day and they just wanna nap (how many of you are scared to go tomorrow now?? lol)...but at the end of the day ALWAYS!...it all comes together and we're thankful for the time together and I'm not sure how to explain but, I mean put it this way...I always come back, and so do A LOT of other people. So tomorrow will be a tiring day and I explain how hard it's gonna be to hopefuly also make you think that if it's so hard and tiring WHY GO THROUGH WITH IT!?.....well exactly what I want people to think about...why? Because it's worth it to see how amazing the retreat turns out, its worth it to see all the peer leaders especially the new ones experience the behind the scenes to their retreat. And to me the biggest reason.......spending time with these people always makes me happy, we're bonded through faith and all that we've been through together and the love I have for what I do...causes me to forget how tired I was from doing this the year before so I come back every year :]

CHALLENGE: There are things or maybe even people in our lives that have this incredible ability to make us go crazy sometimes....and yet we continue to love them and help them and voluntarily be around them. Usually it's because we love them enough that it's ok if they drive us insane. All the great times we have with them, completely over power any moments of uneasiness. So the next time you get stressed or frustrated or irritated by someone you love....remember why you love them, breathe and get over it hahaha i knwo it's ahrder than that but you get what I mean haha    

Signs of Hope

Today in the midst of confusion and regret and not really knowing if I'm making all the right decisions, I am thankful for the little signs God sends us that let us know that we're doing SOMETHING right..and to just keep on going.

You know how when you're trying to help but you're not sure if you're actually helping or just making thinsg worse. And then randomly someone comes up to you and says thank you cause you helped them a lot and you get really happy cause you realize you are doing something right...yeah I love those moments haha

I do these retreats and stuff that I've been talking about because I love helping people and it's just amazing to know what someone has gone through and see them change and grow and these retreats are just a constant reminder of what life is really about and being so close to my faith during these times (I mean I try to always stay close to my faith but during retreat time it definitley is enhanced lol ) is honestly a great feeling to me. But I don't really help out on these retreats or at my church for any other reason other than I want to help someone open their eyes to how beautiful life is really. You don't do this expecting anything in return and honestly I do it to help out the other people create the retreat but I never really go into these things thinking "im gonna help someone" like I dont know I just do what I do haha

Tonight we had to answer the questions in who do you see God's love and in who do you see God's work...and people came up to me afterwards and told me that I was their answer to these questions, and I love evryone and I'm friends with everyone there but it was people who I just had no clue thought of me that way hahha it was cool to hear that though and again was a good reminder that Im doing something good there and that this is exactly where I need to be rigth now :]

CHALLENGE: Maybe some of you already have a time in your mind where something like this happened to you. And then theres some of you who are tempted to feel bad because you feel you've never gotten a sign like this. But I challenge you to think, maybe you just dont want to accept the sign sometimes. When you're feeling lost, and you want a sign hey sometimes you gotta ask for the sign but more importantly you have to be open to it and be able to recognize it when it comes.

Realizing what's important

You know those times where you're feeling a certain way and you cant quite explain it and then that perfect song starts playing?? hahha yeah I love those moments. Whether it's your to happy for words or you're sad, or you're just not exactly sure what you are but the second that perfect song starts playing...everything seems to make sense again, even if it's only for those few minutes the song is playing.

That kind of happened today. Lately a lot of things have been happening (not all necessarily bad) but just a lot is happening. A lot of things that I don't really know the answer to, or how to solve them and that frustrates me even more! It's kind of been one of those weeks or few weeks where everything seems to be going a little out of wack, and everyone seems on edge and I'm honestly not the dramatic kind to say "my world is falling apart"..cause it's not but a lot of things seem to be going wrong one after the other and its stressful at times. I have felt like "removing" myself from the situation (as in being around people) might be the best option to get away from the chaos/drama, but then I realized something.

I have a lot of random burnt CD's with no name in them so I have no clue what songs are on them and i decided to try to figure some out today and when i put on the first CD it had the song "So Small" by Carrie Underwood. 

Now if you've heard this song there is no need to expain any further but for those that maybe havn't. Listen to the song. "Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain  of sand. What you've been out there searching for forever is in your hand. And when you figure out Love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else seem so small"......We give problems way more attention and importance than they deserve. I love this song because not only does it remind me whats important in my own life but it kind of has the message Im trying to show through this blog. When you realize what is really important, all the good things in your life whether it be people or whatever, everything else that isnt "good" does not really matter much as long as you focus on the good. "what you got if you aint got love, the kind that you just want to give away"...removing myself from the situation would mean removing myself from people I love, people that love me and would also mean "not caring"....and if I cant love and care about my friends then really, I have nothing. "I know it's hard on a rainy day, you wanna shut the world out and just be left alone, but dont run out on your faith"....this I was definitly feeling a lot today! Like I just needed to get away for a while but again that would require leaving people that honeslty would be the only ones who could make me feel stress-free again. My faith, family and my friends are the what matters the most, and my faith will always get me through hard times.
Hearing this song today really made me realize that all these little things that seem to keep going wrong, are nothing but little bumps in the road. And that the answer is never to run away from my faith or my friends, because in the end they are the ones that make everything ok again. They are what's important in my life.

CHALLENGE: I could go through each and every single line in this song and explain why it is amazing but instead I'll have you listen to it and hopefully you'll get the same message. It's ok to be stressed out but don't push away your faith or your loved ones. And everynow and then maybe you'll realize that this HUGE problem that you're letting yourself get wrapped up in is really only a grain of sand. Realize what's important. Have a little faith.

Laughter :D

Now I'm sure that we all have things that we dont really like about ourselves. However, there are also things we do like about ourselves and it is perfectly ok to aknowledge  those things we love. Yes there is a point where constantly talking about what we love about ourselves is annoying, narcissistic, and at times selfish. But I cant personally say that I dont brag about myself pretty much ever but there is certain thing I am thankful about myself and so I want to share one of them today.

What I am thankful about myself today is a personality trait or characteristic about me I guess. See the thing about me is I can laugh at any situation! I mean I can and pretty much do laugh at anything hahaha. Of course it has some "bad" things like wanting to laugh when someone is crying, or when something serious is happening. And yes I know to all my "psychologists" out there I am perfectly aware that this is a defense mechanism when I dont feel like really dealing with an issue or with the "seriousness" of a problem I find a way to laugh about it. I know it's my own way of dealing and at times, not dealing, with things haha but at the same time I love that I can find the humor in just about anything, as well as I have a decent control of time and place as far as there are somethings you just should not laugh about.

But today I'm focusing on the positive part of having this "trait".....I think people don't laugh enough in this life. I laugh at my life all the time!! hahah I believe it is important to laugh at how ridiculous your life can be sometimes. I mean it's a lot better than sitting around crying about it! But the thing is it's not even me "avoiding feeling something" I genuinely think "drama" is soo funny! Now im not a jerk and Im not gonna just joke about someones drama, life, or problems in their face. I wait until they have reached a point where they can look back and laugh about what happened and then I make them laugh by making fun of their situation lol.....Honestly when you have seen the amount of drama, and problems as I have either with my own life or through the lives of people that are close to me, you get a very good perspective of what is a REAL PROBLEM and what is just "silly high school drama" (which does not only happen in high school, that's just what its called lol) So many times even if things feel like "the end of the world" I tend not to stress about it to much. I respect that to others it is a "huge deal" and they don't know what to do, but in my head I can't help but think "c'mon....you gotta admit it's kinda funny!" hahahhahaha

So there's is A LOT more to my personality and the idea that I can laugh at anything kind of goes hand in hand with my sarcasm but if you know me you know that sarcasm is such a big part of who I am that it needs a blog all its own so we'll save that topic haha. But I am thankful that there is something in me, experience, understanding, I really dont know what it is, but there is something in me that allows me to put things in perspective and be able to laugh at hard moments in my life rather than get all upset about them. As well as being able to help others see the "funny" in their own troubles and make themn realize what really is worth getting stressed about and what is not. I love that I can remind people to laugh at themselves.

I also have to add that I LOVE and i am very appreciative of the people around me who understand that I laugh at everything. Even when things are serious, sad, or scary....I laugh but my close friends and family know that it's just how I react sometimes. :)

CHALLENGE: Well first off, don't be afraid to be thankful for the type of person you are. Again there is a line you don't want to cross but it's ok to aknowledge your good attributes hahah. So just think of something about you (preferably not physical lol) that you like about yourself. Maybe it's the complete opposite of mine, and thats cool! I'm not a "cryer" really again I more laugh at things, but maybe you are a "cryer" and that is something to be thankful for as well. The fact that you can allow yourself to get to that emotion I mean there are times where I wish I could cry instead of having to hide my mouth cause the laughter is about to burst out! I know people that love that they can cry. So it can be anything!